Cause You've Got That One Thing

Hello Readers :D

December, like I mentioned previously has been all fine UNTIL my lecturers announced that we're gonna have tests next week. One is CTU082 short test and another one is ECO099~ THE BLOODY ECONOMICS.

die die dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :c

So, my weekend is not gonna be as relaxing as the way I expected it to be. I need to do laundries (just hope that it's not gonna rain tomorrow!) and study. Yeah, study for the bloody economics and Islamic studies. Which is as scary as F**K FIRE! in a straw house, in the woods, on the windy days, with the gasoline everywhere on the straw~

Oh, some people who read my previous post asked me yesterday whether I'm okay or not. Yeah, I daresay. After a long phone conversation with Nisa and Salam, I feel much better now. Thanks, best friends. Which is why I can never hate them, I can't thank them enough for what they have done to bring me back to what I once define as life. They know how to make me happy and give useful advice. I didn't call Esther and Fyraz simply because I don't want to trouble them with my troubles. I'm pretty sure that they have their own burdens to lessen. But I miss them though, really.

 I don't know what exactly the thing that makes me feel depressed lately. Not only that, I noticed that my emotions are unstable and I have irregular menstrual cycle lately. I feel paranoid easily and I'm quite sensitive lately. I get sad easily and happy for the next  hours. I don't fucking know what the hell is actually wrongg with meee :c

Is it because I'm homesick? Is it because of the rainy season? That it's always raining and it somehow affects my emotion to be as gloomy as the cloudy weather?  Is it due to stress? But I'm in a state of a slow recovery now, I guess. I'm not sure if this lasts since I just had the phone conversation like a few hours ago, so I am fine. At least for now. But anyway, let's just hope that this will last, alright?

I google the terms depression, irregular periods, paranoia, unstable emotions and sensitive together and the first result that came out was;

arggghhhhhhhh nuuuuuuuuuuu :c Don't turn me into that! I will fucking kill you without me realizing it!!

Urghhhh my life is seriously fucked up. Should I consult a doctor?

A doctor is too busy to entertain me I think, checking on preggy mothers are more useful rather than checking on me. hurrrr :/

or should i just consult a psychiatrist instead?

I might end up in Tanjung Rambutan - a place for insane retards.

Cruel, ain't I?

KILL ME.

I haven't told my Mum about this yet. I mean, this problem of mine because I just don't know what to say to them. And I bet our conversation might just be a waste because Mum will keep asking "what's wrong?" and I will keep replying "I don't know how to describe it!" 

Tell me, what should I do now? Fuck this thing.