Cause You've Got That One Thing

I don't know why I'm feeling all gloomy today. I feel like crying but I can't cry. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I can't tell my Mum nor call my friends, I just don't know what to say to them because I don't know why exactly I am feeling like this. I can't cry alone, so I keep it all to myself. And keeping all these things to myself is rather agonizing. At this moment, I miss my family, my best friends, my cousins, my classmates, I miss high school times so  much. I miss childhood times. I miss the memories of childhood which most of the time, I spent it with my family, with my parents. 

I miss having fun, smile and laugh, taking pictures together, having myself being dressed appropriately by Mum so that I would look pretty in the camera pictures. I miss how my parents asked me to behave and in return of my good deeds I did to them, they would buy me and my siblings balloons with colours of our own choice. I miss going out with my family even though we were just eating Pizza at Waterfront at night when my parents were less busy with work. I miss holding hands with my Mum and my Dad, together with my other siblings when we were about to cross the road. I miss the times when my Mum and Dad did not have to think about working extra hours, think about the house chores, did not have to worry about sickness nor fatigue at old age. I miss those times, really. :'(

Not only that, I also miss the old times when I can freely scream, laugh out loud, sing and gossiping with my classmates.

I miss having Fyraz, Esther and Nisa with me buying ice-creams and when we have extra money, we would buy 'Jelly Kelapa' and sometimes Sundae Cup. And we would peek what type of ice-cream our hermit crab of the school Fitri 'Nakpaya' would buy. I miss stalking and watching every steps of Haha towards the staff room and Prefects Room with my besties. I miss stalking Taecyeon, CDK, Bubo Mamak and the gang, with my besties. I miss those times. I miss the times where I could scream enthusiastically in front of Mdm. Beatris the moment I spotted Haha passing by our classroom.  I miss the excitements. Not because of my deep crush on him that ignites the feeling, it's because I was with my best friends who wouldn't mind me sharing all my joys with them. 

I always have a dream of having a best buds' sleepover and some sort of slumber party (i know we're grown ups but I always want to do that with my best friends) where we can chat talk sing laugh and dance all night until we're tired and finally dozed off without having to worry about anything that makes our life fucked up. I always want to bring my best friends to shop for stuffs and we would go and buy stuffs together. I always dream of having a vacation with my best friends, picnic, swimming and stuffs. I want to do those things which best friends would do and how I wish I can do it now. I miss my girl friends, seriously. ='(

Let's just wait, girls. We'll be able to do that and rock our own world soon. =)